At Considerable Cost

Today I threw open windows in my home as the first crisp morning of autumn arrived.   It took me back. Rough, harvest gold and forest green verigated shag carpet beneath my tightly-crossed legs, clad in shorts for the first time since winter truly settled in.   Chalky, textured dry-wall against my back.   An attic fan, mounted in the hallway ceiling outside my bedroom, spun its massive blades and whined, drowning out the everyday evening sounds within our home and the new noises outside my opened window.    The first whirs after the flip of the switch were what I imagined a helicopter would sound like and the sudden intake of air from the opened windows around the house were so strong the house seemed to inhale and gain some momentary altitude.  That intense pull created my favorite spot of refuge, my temporary hiding place that I could only enjoy for a only a few weeks of the year.   As long as the...

Last year, I discovered The Bitter Southerner, a literary magazine on-line .   They publish a new story every Tuesday morning to share stories of people, places, and activities which represent the new south, the south that seeks to right wrongs and look to the future.   I've looked forward to my Bitter Tuesday mornings.   Today's feature, the beautifully written "Feed," by author Susan Rebecca White , has been on my mind all day, through the breakfast dishes, the fitting for a temporary crown (always the dental patient, never the Queen), and the afternoon routines of school pick-up, homework, and dinner.   I scribbled a bit on my notepad and now I sit to try to write about all those thoughts so I can figure out what I think of "Feed."     As a Born-and-Raised Anti-Catholic   I've written before of my un-churched upbringing .   My dear mama was raised in the Church of Christ, a denomination where e...

I have made some big changes in my on-line reading, posting, and social media activity.  I identified with this piece by Charlie Brooker when he describes the noise of the media in our world and even with his realization that such a post was "Olympic naval-gazing": http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/jul/28/too-much-talk-charlie-brooker Yes, there's just too much noise for me, too.   There is too much clever strategy in creating and advancing images, making contacts and connections.   My friends on Facebook really don't need (or want) to hear my thoughts on daily events or news events.   At times, in the blogger world, it seems there are people in little circles getting all worked up over something that is going on in those little circles while the vast majority of the world isn't even aware of the situation or the people talking about it.   I didn't want to be permanently sucked int...

Every family has little stories that are told again and again.   I remember Mama's stories of her siblings as they were growing up on a farm in northeastern Oklahoma and those tales of my father's poor circumstances as a child in the same region.   There were the stories of special teachers and of all the fellow students they knew during college years.   When both of your parents are from the Midwest and one of them rose up from poverty, you learn from an early age about self-reliance and self-determination.   My father's job as a professor of Animal Science put him into contact with 4-H and FFA students, as he judged livestock shows and helped with workshops.   I was the only kid in my club with a 4-H project book written by my father. He always had high praise for those high-achieving students he described as "real go-getters."   They were usually officers in the clubs and they spoke to adults with poise and confidence....

I'm a Southerner, but not a Southern Belle.   I was never presented to society at a white-gloves-and-ball-gowns-cotillion.   I was never the princess or queen of a small-town festival.   I only drink unsweetened tea, whether hot or iced.   My parents wanted to see if they could raise me on only unsweetened tea, so I wouldn't like the taste of the sugared variety and it worked.   Mama always made two pitchers of iced tea.   And, though I can appreciate the cast and technical achievements of Gone With the Wind , I'm telling you, if I had any state secrets, I might give them up if forced to watch that film on an auto-loop.   Ashley sure wasn't worth all those ripples of misery and by the end, the only three people I could respect were Big Sam, Mammy and Belle Watling. But whenever I am once again close to the waters of the Mississippi River, my pulse seems to adjust itself to the undulations of the ...

Every day, I see headlines proclaiming that all is lost, each side claiming the other side is evil and the cause of all ills.   Because of my social media settings, many of these lamentations come from those who are Catholic.    And I've grown weary from it.   I can always find relief in scripture and prayer, but recently, I've found hope for literature, television, and film from some secular sources.    I watch the films of Steve McQueen who explores what it means to be human and how our actions affect others.   I read the reviews of stand-up comedian, writer, and actor,  Brett Goldstein, whose show, Contains Scenes of an Adult Nature , chronicles his addiction to pornography and his journey as he gave it up and continues to heal in the way he deals with women and relationships.   There are people out there searching for answers, for truth.   They are asking us to thi...

I realized this week that this summer turned out to be my own "Summer of George."   If you don't get Seinfeld references, I am sorry.   Truly, I am sorry for all you have missed.   I reference Seinfeld at least once on most days, I think. I had grand plans for the summer.   I was going to organize the whole house, from the closets out.   I was going to donate and trash massive amounts of things we don't need in order to de-clutter our lives.    I was going to paint our master bedroom and bathroom so the chalky quickie paint job done by the previous owners would finally be no more.   I was going to stain our back fence and work in my flowerbeds.   I was going to continue my diet success and lose another 30 pounds to match what I'd lost since February. I was so looking forward to turning 40 this month and I even had a private Pinterest board with ideas for how I might celebrate.   I had the dream of a little party and decide...