At Considerable Cost

Hard to believe this picture was taken 8 years ago! Today was my tenth birthday without Mama.   I've written previously about how Mama made me feel special just for being born.   I wondered if birthdays would ever be special again and there have been a few rough ones over the past ten years.   Today, I decided to remember what I had written about it being a day baptized, so I focused on the celebration of Clare's baptism birthday.   Eight years ago, she was baptized in Christ and today, we celebrated the day as birthday buddies. I spent the morning grocery shopping and preparing our meal.   I needed a crock pot meal since we had a busy evening with mass and a meeting at church.   I tried my stovetop spaghetti and meatballs in the crockpot and it turned out great.   I made some other special foods, like these chocolate-filled raspberries which w...

I realized this week that this summer turned out to be my own "Summer of George."   If you don't get Seinfeld references, I am sorry.   Truly, I am sorry for all you have missed.   I reference Seinfeld at least once on most days, I think. I had grand plans for the summer.   I was going to organize the whole house, from the closets out.   I was going to donate and trash massive amounts of things we don't need in order to de-clutter our lives.    I was going to paint our master bedroom and bathroom so the chalky quickie paint job done by the previous owners would finally be no more.   I was going to stain our back fence and work in my flowerbeds.   I was going to continue my diet success and lose another 30 pounds to match what I'd lost since February. I was so looking forward to turning 40 this month and I even had a private Pinterest board with ideas for how I might celebrate.   I had the dream of a little party and decide...

As I wrote earlier , my Advent was not what I planned.   I spent the first three weeks only leaving the house to drop the girls off at school and then to pick them up in the afternoon.   I did my Christmas shopping only a few days before Christmas.   I was able to really rest and recover from pneumonia and the other health issues I've dealt with this year. We couldn't find the Advent wreath, so the arrangement in the picture above was our family's Advent centerpiece.   Mary, pregnant with Hope incarnate and Joseph guiding them on their way to Bethlehem.    A single candle to inspire and remind us of the anticipation of Christ.   And beautiful flowers: a get-well gift from a friend. It was a season of blessing: rest and quiet, though forced, that I needed.   Less busy-ness and lessons in what is important and necessary.   I didn't get to make homemade treats for teachers because I was too tired, but gift cards and other store-bought ...

I think this year was the first one I remember when there was not a single message about Halloween posted on the server for our Catholic mom's prayer group.   There was one article posted on the Facebook group page, but no arguments ensued on the main e-mail server.   That was nice.   We'll see how we get through girl scout cookie season.   And no new Harry Potter novels or movies, so that shouldn't come up, either. My memories of Halloween contain no gore, no horror movies.   I looked forward to the huge hot dog and marshmallow roast at our friends' house.   Dressing up was fun and it was the only time I got to wear make-up during my elementary school years.    That was back in my pre-Catholic days.   Pre-baptism of any kind days.   The only people I knew who didn't celebrate Halloween were Protestants who thought the holiday evil because of its Catholic origins/connections.   I w...

"Is she in there?" "I think so.  Should we knock?" This was part of the conversation from my fellow teachers outside my classroom door the morning I returned to work, two months after the birth of my first child.    My locked classroom door.   I managed to get into the building with no contact with others, cover my window on my door, and lock myself in for a good cry.    I did not take separation from my baby very well.   I called my husband and told him I just couldn't stay.   He called the personnel office and asked about my leave options.   Then, he called Mama.    "I know it's hard, Joey, but you have to let her face this; she just has to do it." Later, when I talked to Mama, she told me how she felt when she took me to my first day of school.   She said leaving me at that poor, old south Louisiana school building was one of the hardest things she ever did. ...

I saw this posted on facebook.   I'm blessed because God has surrounded me with so many of the latter. "There are 2 types of people - those who come into a room & say, "Well, here I am!" & those who come in & say, "Ah, there you are." ~F.L.Collins

Our house does not look as if it came directly from a showroom floor.   It is filled with an eclectic mix of items, most of which have a story behind them.   When I was growing up, people would come to our house and my mom would give them a tour.   Daddy joked and called it the "Nickel Tour," because he said Mama would point to something and say, "You see that?   I got it for a nickel; they wanted a quarter for it, but I got them down to a nickel!"   I love to walk through my house and remember special people as I look upon its furnishings.   Periodically, I'll share a few on this blog. My Own Magical Wardrobe         This is an antique chifferobe that my mother refinished.   There was an old home place next to our farm, with a crumbling house.   One day, as the owners made ready to demolish its remains, they called over to Mama and told her that she could have...

September 16, 2004 began as a typical morning.   Emmeline and I went for a walk and then she settled down for her morning nap while I worked on laundry.   I decided to call Mama; we usually talked to each other every day.   Since Emmeline was born nine months earlier, our conversations had grown to several times a day, as I called her to share Emmeline's latest "firsts."  She had called a little more than normal to check on me.   A month earlier I had my first severe reflux incident.   I was eating lunch when I experienced the normal discomfort, but this time, it got worse and it was as if my windpipe was closed and I couldn't breathe.   I felt like I was choking, but I could talk, so I knew that I wasn't.   I was alone with Emmeline, so I quickly snatched her out of the high chair and put her in her crib.   I worried about what I would do if this did not pass quickly and I stopped breathing. ...